A Little Exercise of Pessimistic Self-Assessment (aleopsa)

So here I am, nervous, situation is the same.
Trying to be myself, but all efforts in vain.
No matter what I do, my appearance is a shame.
I just have to resign, 'cause this is not my game.

I thought, I played through every case, but none of them occured.
I'm loosing my footing and everything gets blurred.
Then I start to stumble like a stupid nerd.
Now I am about to retract - Afraid I might get hurt. 

Refrain
I've got to put up a real fight,
Bring in all of my might,
to get myself right. 

Why can't I control myself instead of loosing my mind?
The more I try to recognize, the more I'm getting blind.
Maybe I need assistance and help to look behind
these mysteries, which I can't unwind.

Refrain

Finally I just keep trying - So I get some routine.
Even failure can be fun - Life is not that mean.
So this will repeat itself, I'll just stick to this scheme.
Maybe once I will succeed. Though now it's like a dream...

Refrain